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Or “how disgustingly foul can a restaurant be and still pass Scores on Doors?”

Since Scores On Doors isn’t actually measuring excellence, but just working out how bad you are, the question “how badly can you fail Scores on Doors and still pass” makes sense.

So my question is “what’s the worst we can squeeze in and pass?” Or, “what problems can I squeeze into 15 points and still pass?”

My hypothetical restaurant “McChunders” doesn’t have the best reputation. In fact the roaches have moved out after protesting about the conditions.

5-Stars

The first thing that hits you as you walk into McChunders is the smell. Not the aroma of burgers or baking bread, but rubbish. It’s piling up and it’s starting to smell. Enough to close it down? No, just one point.

In theory there would be pests associated with the rubbish, but it just gets tossed at the end of the day.

A quick glance around reveals the hand washing facilities which is a relief. That could easily clock up 21 points by not having the facilities (1 point) or using them when needed (20 points). So let’s assume they all have clean hands.

But wait, the water has backed up in the drain and is hovering an inch below the rim. Their hands may be clean but the sinks aren’t. So how many points for McFloaters?  Inadequate sewerage and waste water disposal system – one point.

I also discover that the reason why there are no rats is because of the three cats. One of them is on the work bench. Animals in the food preparation area – one point.

And there are live chooks. But wait, that’s still just the one point.

To be totally clear on how the system works – McChunders is still eligible for 5-stars because it has only lost 3 points.

4-Stars

Then there’s Eddie the kitchen-hand eating a sandwich over the bench. Finally a decent penalty – four points. After eating, Eddie lights up and has a smoke. Wait, that’s the same 4 points. It doesn’t matter that he went from a couple bread crumbs to smoking.

But to top it off, he takes the cigarette out of his mouth, looks around for the garbage bin, snorts, and spits across the walkway into the bin. Guess what, it’s the same four points.

But why am I surprised because Eddie looks like one of those stereotypical rednecks with his clothing. He wipes his mouth with the back of his sleeve, looks at me and says “what’s your problem?” I feel like saying “the grease on your overalls” but hold my tongue. Dirty clothing – one point.

He raises his hand at me and gives me the bird. That’s when I see the blood stained band-aid limply holding on to his finger. Awesome, that’s worth…actually that’s the dirty clothing point.

So now, despite Eddie’s contributions, the restaurant is still eligible for 4-star rating.

3-Stars

Now let’s go for a big one (as if spitting wasn’t enough) – the use of dirty eggs. In recent years the biggest outbreaks of food poisoning have been as a result of contamination from fresh eggs, and that contamination tends to come from the outside of the eggs, not the inside.

So here is a restaurant that has fresh eggs (remember the chooks). And like farm fresh eggs, they are covered in chook…stuff. Since this is known to cause massive food poisoning outbreaks it must be enough to fail the restaurant. Nope – 4-points.

I wander out into the seating area. There’s a salad bar up the back. By salad bar I mean table. And standing over it is a mother with her young kids making a mad grab for whatever they can. The spoons go from bowl to bowl. No supervisor and no dedicated utensils – one point. And then the feeding frenzy is broken by one of the kids sneezing all over the salads. The kids yell “gross” and then leave the table.  Still the one point.

Eventually the waiter comes out and takes one of the bowls back into the kitchen and puts it next to the other bowls of salad. Food for disposal not separated from normal stock – one point.

And that leaves McChunders with one point spare to still have a 3-star rating.

 

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What is covered with our shipping insurance?

Our normal terms and conditions (like most businesses) is that you take possession the moment an order ships. If the order is lost or damaged in transit then, in theory, it’s your problem. In reality we will have a conversation and try to work out a good way to resolve the issue where we are both happy (or not too upset).

Shipping insurance is there to remove the drama. If an order is lost or damaged in transit, we will simply send out a replacement, and we will then deal with the courier directly to resolve the original problem.

Our shipping insurance also means that if an order is delayed beyond what is normal and reasonable then we will send you another shipment (stock levels permitting). Then you should receive one of them sooner, and when the second one arrives you simply Return To Sender.

How much is shipping insurance?

Shipping insurance is 5% of the cost of the goods.

Is it worth it? Practically we have had far less than 5% of shipments have problems. It is, however, what Australia Post and other couriers charge. Ultimately insurance is about peace of mind and less hassle when something does go wrong.

Shipping insurance as an option

Shipping insurance is offered as an option on all our web sites. You can select it at the checkout.

For large orders our staff may also ask if you would like shipping insurance.

If you would like shipping insurance on an order you are placing with us, just ask.

Mandatory shipping insurance

Unfortunately we have had a couple of large orders not make it and then the customer refused to pay. A friend suggested that the easy way to avoid the dispute is to insure any shipments where we have a significant risk.

If you would like an immediate line of credit (30 days to pay) and have the goods ship immediately (no credit check delays) and are purchasing over $500 then we will add shipping insurance to your order.

The shipping insurance can be waived if the order is between $500 and $2,000 and you provide us with a formal confirmation that you accept responsibility of the goods once they ship.

Alternatively you can prepay by direct deposit or credit card.

What is not covered?

If there is a clear proof of delivery to the shipping address provided then we class that as delivered. Unfortunately there are cases where it is lost somewhere between the loading dock or receptionist and ending up in your hands. But we also know that a photo of the bag against a generic grey background is not proof of delivery, it is just proof of existence! It needs to be a reasonable proof of delivery.

It also doesn’t cover the expectation of overnight delivery. For example, if we were to ship to Melbourne (we are in Sydney) then we would expect it to be delivered within about 3 days. Most of the time it is overnight, but there are enough floods and other issues that regularly cause minor delays. Sending a second order the next day tends to not fix the problem. If it is super urgent, talk to us about how we can minimise the risk.

For damage claims we ask that you contact us immediately and we will probably ask for photos or some proof. The shipping insurance doesn’t cover claims weeks later. We do have warranty covering our items, but it excludes physical damage (e.g. being dropped). If the goods are damaged in transit then please let us know ASAP so we can cover it under the shipping insurance.