In an bold and unexpected move, Kevin Rudd has declared that Labor will not stand for re-election at the upcoming Federal election.

He said that “even Blind Freddy can see where the election was going” and decided that funding would be much better spent on key issues that people actually care about. So instead of having a mindless mud slinging contest spread across commercial TV and radio stations, the money is being invested in the upgrading of all major hospitals.

Additionally, money traditionally donated to the party has been redirected to assisting refugees. In a recent visit to a refugee camp, he said “I’m amazed that there are people with less hope than the Labor party”.

Mean while the leader of the opposition Tony Abbott has quickly taken up the offensive saying that “this is just another attempt by Labor to avoid facing the music. Australians deserve the right to be able to vote a party out.”

Meanwhile the leader of the Greens was not available for comment because no-one could remember who they were.

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Do you need to put disclaimers on these posts? Along the lines of “expressions stated here do not reflect the opinion of the company” or “this is a work of fiction and any similarities with real people or events is entirely co-incidental”. I should go check the ABC web site for disclaimers.

And for the record, it really doesn’t matter what political opinion I have. I’m the one of the safest Liberal seats around that I think even the local Labor candidates do it just to see if they can nudge double figures each election.